


Thunder

by berenicewolfe



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Pre-Established Relationship, Smut, brief allusions to PTSD, but this is such fluffy smut that i'm not sure it counts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-18 01:10:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7293400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berenicewolfe/pseuds/berenicewolfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Berena one-shot. As Bernie struggles to cope with memories of the war, Serena attempts to comfort her, but Bernie isn't the best at letting people in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thunder

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of the headcanon I wrote a while ago: Bernie walking in just her pants outside on the porch to go and smoke after sex and just chilling in the cool air, Serena waddling behind with the whole duvet because she's way too cold.  
>   
> Thank you to Erin for beta-ing for me, and to Gina and Leah for their moral support through this horrendous ordeal of writing.

Despite it being the middle of June, the night air was especially bitter as Serena stepped out of the hospital. She took a deep breath and could feel the rain lingering in the air, ready to fall but not quite here yet. Looking up, the sky above was clear enough, but she could see storm clouds not far to her left. Taking advantage of the opportunity to appreciate the freckled sky, she squinted her eyes as she worked them around the canvas above her, searching out for something in particular. The constellation she searched for was not noticeable but for a trained eye, and she had committed this particular one to heart. She made out about two thirds of the shape, the stars a bit dim in the presumably cloudy atmosphere.

 _Coma Berenices._ She smiled.

-

The fire was lit when she got in, and Serena couldn’t have loved Bernie more for it. She took off her hat and coat, appreciating the homely warmth that began to bite back at the chill from her poorly heated car. She unzipped her boots and tossed them aside, and sighed in relief as she stretched her cramped feet.

“Bernie? Where are you?” Serena called, surprised at her silence. Heading down the hallway the smell of cigarette smoke hit her like a brick, which, followed by confusion, lit a small rage inside of her. She definitely didn’t like Bernie smoking at all, but it was her body and her choice, so there wasn’t much she could do about it other than grumble. However, doing it in the house was firmly established as something that would not be tolerated, which Bernie was more than happy to conform to- or she had been.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked, marching into the living room expectantly.

“What?” Bernie asked, absent minded, clearly not focused on a word Serena was saying. She was sat with her knees pulled to her chin in front of the fire, cigarette between her fingers, gnawing at her lip. 

“Smoking, Bern. In the house. But never mind that, are you-”

“Sorry, sorry, I forgot, shit, sorry-” Bernie muttered, jumping upright quickly and heading towards the door. Serena reached out to grab her wrist to halt her in her tracks, but Bernie pulled away and stepped outside.

She had seen Bernie in some bad moods, but this was odd. If they had an argument, Bernie would come grovelling with alcohol and apologies. If Bernie was angry, she’d rant about it rather openly. She didn’t get quiet, she didn’t sulk, and she wasn’t petulant. Serena’s anger had dissipated, and she was only left with concern as she followed her girlfriend outside.

Bernie was standing under their garden porch, protected from the gentle drizzle that had started falling. Her head was tilted upwards as she looked out, and the light caught her face beautifully. Her high cheekbones were elegant in the soft light, her jawline sharp, and her lips were gently pouted in thought, pink and a little swollen from where she had been endlessly biting them. Serena was hesitant to interrupt her thoughts, and yet the nature of Bernie’s behaviour urged her on.

“They say we have a storm coming tonight,” Serena said. Bernie responded by nodding mutely, which just increased the anxiety building in Serena’s chest. “Thunder, lightning, the works,” she continued.

“Yeah, you can feel it in the air,” Bernie mumbled. Serena took a small step closer to Bernie and placed a hand on her shoulder, but recoiled as Bernie flinched. Her body became rigid, her frame hunched and stiff, her jaw clenched, her knuckles white as she gripped the wooden fence, leaning against it, her cigarette getting crushed between her fingers. Serena could hear Bernie swallow as she prepared to explain, but as she waited no words came.

“What’s wrong, Bernie?”

“Nothing, nothing, I’m just being silly. It doesn’t matter.” She was always dismissive like this, so stubborn. Serena resented the pride she possessed that made her feel like she was destined to carry the whole world alone.

“Please, Bern… Is it work? Is it us?”

“No, no, God no, it isn’t any of that, no. Please don’t worry. Tell me about your day!” she finished, a falsely cheery smile on her face, the small creases around her eyes deepening as she looked at Serena fondly.

“The most interesting part of the day was a splenectomy. That’s why I was late. Nothing special, just a few complications. What about you?”

Bernie looked at Serena for a few more seconds, glancing up at the lines that were etched into her forehead, a tell-tale sign of her concern. She ignored them.

“Nothing too fun, either. An amputation. Raf and I worked damned hard to keep the leg, but the arteries were severed beyond any kind of repair. The poor guy was a dancer.”

“Is that what has upset you?”

“Jesus, Serena, no- shit!”

A thunder bolt cracked loudly above as a sudden downpour began to swamp their garden. Serena looked up at the sky in surprise, but Bernie’s whole body jolted, a hand flying to her head as she gasped. Serena took a step forward to help calm her, but Bernie’s heavy breathing made her hesitate.

“It was just the thunder, darling, it’s okay.”

“Damn it!” she shouted, slamming her hand down on the railing. She continued to curse at the sky, a huge string of expletives, her rage scalding until her voice began to break. She slid down the railings, dejected and tired. “Damn it...”

Her voice was so quiet, so broken, Serena nearly whimpered.

Gently, slowly, but making an effort to make her movements heard, she sat next to Bernie on the floor. “On your right,” she murmured.

Head against her knees, Bernie let out a small snort at that, which did nothing to abate Serena’s worry.

“What’s going on?” Serena asked softly.

“Just a thunderstorm.”

“And?”

“Loud noises,” she offered with a weak smile, until another crack reverberated around them, and Bernie’s body stiffened against Serena’s.

Serena looked down at Bernie’s hand and saw the long-ago forgotten cigarette that had nearly burned to the end. She slowly prised it from Bernie’s fingers and discarded it. “Has this happened before?” she asked as she flicked it away. Bernie’s nod was almost imperceptible, but Serena was studying her very closely. “What helps?”

Bernie was chewing at her lips and picking at her cuticles, her breathing fast, her foot tapping, her whole being vibrating with agitation. “Whiskey is normally my go to, but something tells me you aren’t going to encourage that.”

“I’ll go as far as a bottle of Shiraz,” she smiled half-heartedly. “Let’s go inside, it’s bloody freezing out here.”

“No it isn’t,” Bernie said, but she took Serena’s hand which was offered, pulling herself up. Her grip was weak, which made Serena swallow nervously. She stepped back to allow Bernie in first, and shut the door behind her.

Bernie was standing in the middle of the room, staring at the fire, not moving. Her eyes were wet, and her hands balled into fists. Serena moved closer and took her hand, gently uncurling her fingers. “Sit down, Bernie,” she offered. Bernie nodded and pulled her hand away, walking over to the sofa.

Serena headed into the kitchen to find some wine glasses and a bottle of Shiraz, and upon her return she found Bernie sat on the very edge of her seat, hands fidgeting, her body upright, ready to jump to attention.

“At ease, soldier,” Serena said gently as she set the glasses down. Bernie didn’t respond. She poured half-way, Bernie’s trembling hands not looking especially equipped for anything more. Serena watched as she took the glass and tipped it back, swallowing twice and emptying her glass. Bernie took a deep breath, and set the glass on the edge of the table, but as another clap of thunder rolled above them, she sent it across the room in her haste to cover her ears. It rolled across the carpet, and Serena left it where it was.

She abandoned her own glass, and sat next to Bernie. Serena pulled Bernie’s hands away from her head, and placed her hands on Bernie’s cheeks. Her thumbs brushed across the line of her cheekbones, and Bernie opened her eyes. “You’re here with me.” She pressed a kiss to Bernie’s forehead, cold sweat salty on her lips as she pulled back. She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and pulled her to her chest, her chin resting on Bernie’s golden crown.

Bernie inhaled deeply, Serena’s perfume soft and grounding, coffee and musk entwined. “I’m here with you.” She tucked her legs underneath herself, and laid her head in Serena’s lap. Another clap of thunder sounded, followed by a bright flash, and she closed her eyes. She felt Serena’s hands scratching at her scalp, fiddling with her hair, the sensation distracting and soothing. The motion was consistent, and she concentrated on that.

Serena had discussed some things about Bernie’s past with her. She’d told her of how she was partially deaf in one ear from an explosion, and woke up with her dead comrade on top of her. She’d told her of what it was like to run at the fire and not away from it, barely able to see through the dust, kneeling in a pool of congealing blood as you make potentially fatal snap decisions. She’d seen the scars on Bernie’s arms from shrapnel, the fine white lines that had faded well but were still clear enough to those who cared to look. The fact that life was something she thrived in once, and yet had to endure on a regular basis when it caused so much turmoil, was something Serena could never truly comprehend, and the fact she couldn’t even be rid of it when she was home tore deep inside her.

She squeezed Bernie’s hand and lifted it up to kiss the tips of her fingers. Her nails were short and her cuticles a wreck, and Serena found it strangely endearing. They were cut for purpose and a little bit of a mess, much like her. Bernie’s eyes were now open, and she watched Serena gently press a small kiss to each of her fingertips and smiled. They held each other’s gaze, and as another clap of thunder was sent across the sky, Bernie did not move. Serena saw her breath hitch slightly, and squeezed her hand.

Serena reached for her glass, and fetched Bernie’s from the floor, filling them both up. Bernie seemed steadier now, so she gave her a reasonable measure. She placed herself next to Bernie, and allowed her girlfriend to lie back into her once more. She observed Bernie as she took a mouthful, but was grateful she took just the one.

Bernie’s breathing was steadier, and with another thunder bolt she only jerked ever so slightly. Her hair was mussed up from Serena’s ministrations, fluffy as it framed her face. Serena smiled as she saw Bernie’s pink nose and flushed cheeks. She felt nervous seeing Bernie like this, so vulnerable and quiet and open, and yet she was so grateful. Bernie had an innate ability to build an impenetrable wall around her, and any gaps in it were quickly filled, much to her dismay. Comforting and supporting someone who doesn’t want to be helped is a trial, and to sit here with her now, guards down, honest, felt like an honour as well as a relief.

“I love you,” Serena blurted out. Bernie’s eyes softened at that, and she took a few moments to allow her eyes to roam around her face.

“I love you, too,” she smiled. “Thank you.”

Serena leant down and placed a kiss to the tip of Bernie’s nose, and felt Bernie place a hand on her neck. Kissing her upside down was uncomfortable, but as Bernie’s hand snaked into her hair and tugged gently she gave in. Bernie was gentle and wanting, and as she slowly deepened the kiss she sighed softly.

Serena stood up suddenly and Bernie opened her eyes and lifted her hand up to reach out, her eyebrows furrowed at the loss of touch, which made her giggle. “I’m just moving,” she smiled, climbing on top of Bernie.

She straddled her girlfriend, and held herself up on her arms, leaning down to kiss Bernie’s neck. She kissed her way up to her ear, and grazed her teeth across the sensitive skin there. With another clap of thunder, Bernie yelped beneath her, and Serena quickly pulled back. “Are you alright?”

“Quite,” she said breathlessly. “That was all you, don’t you worry.”

Serena smirked as she leant in to kiss Bernie again. The taste of wine was just tangible as Bernie’s tongue swept across her bottom lip, and she felt her nip on it sharply. Serena gasped into Bernie’s mouth, and Bernie quickly sat up, pulling Serena between her legs.

Bernie let out a groan at the pressure of Serena’s thigh against her, her head tilted back and throat exposed as Serena lavished her collar with kisses, undoing each button and pressing her lips to the new skin that was exposed. She traced her tongue along the freckles that descended into the valley between her breasts, lifting a hand to cup her through the material of her bra. As she kneaded the flesh there she felt Bernie arch beneath her, and she drew her attention to the other side, biting at her cleavage and laving her tongue over the marks. Bernie’s eyes fluttered as she took a breath, and looked down at Serena with a soft smile.

Serena slid her hands underneath Bernie’s shirt and felt for her bra clasp. She looked up to Bernie before proceeding, and with a desperate and sure nod she unhooked the strap. As a thunderbolt cracked about the sky, Serena halted in her actions, and looked up to Bernie once more. Bernie looked at her girlfriend intensely with a smile still on her face. “I’m okay.”

Pulling off her shirt and gently tugging the straps of her bra down, Serena took a moment to drink her in. She trailed her finger down the scar between her breasts, the pink having faded to a subtle silver. It had been an angry scar for months after her surgery, but it had slowly begun to fade with the nights Serena spent lazily rubbing Bio-Oil into it. She didn’t mind how it looked at all, but the way Bernie turned her head away as she took her shirt off the first time they were together said enough.

She pressed small, tickling kisses down the line, knowing it was sensitive, and finished with a hard, bruising one close to her navel. It would probably leave a mark, but Bernie never minded that. She let out a harsh moan, and was grinding her hips against Serena’s thigh, yearning for her to relieve some of the pressure building between her legs.

Bernie pulled at the cardigan Serena was wearing, desperate to see her, and Serena smirked at how eager she was. She ran her hands over Serena’s arms, and could feel the cool gooseflesh there. “Shall we go to the bedroom?” Bernie whispered, noticing Serena shiver slightly.

“Let’s,” she replied, about to offer a hand to Bernie.

“Race you!” she giggled, and hopped up, cupping her breasts as she sprinted across the room.

“Cheat!” Serena cried after her, chasing her down the hallway, catching her about the waist to try and halt her.

“Oi, no grabbing!” she laughed, still covering her modesty as she tried to pull away.

As they both struggled up the stairs, Bernie two steps ahead with Serena pulling her back for kisses and tickles, their laughs and shouts filled the house. “Frankly, Serena, as fun as this is, I’m still feeling rather dissatisfied-”

“Aunty Serena, why doesn’t Bernie have a shirt on?” Jason was standing at the top of the stairs in his pyjamas. His eyes were puffy and he was squinting at the pair through his glasses, obviously having been woken up by their racket.

Bernie blushed and she bit down on her lip hard to avoid laughing. She ducked behind Serena and buried her face in her back to stifle giggles, her breathing heavy against her girlfriend’s back.

“Oh, Jason, God- uhm, I’m sorry to have woken you, it’s just- uh, Bernie accidentally spilled something on her shirt, and uh- well, we’re just going to bed, actually, so she- uh, she left the shirt downstairs. Yes, so, uh- by all means, please go back to bed!”

Her nephew stood still for a moment, frowning at the pair, and then nodded to himself as he headed back to his room and shut the door. The small bang was followed by a bark of laughter, and Bernie grabbed hold of the bannister to steady herself. “Oh my God,” she whispered, sitting down as giggles consumed her.

Serena’s cheeks were bright red, and her filthy laugh was hearty, but she was more focused on Bernie as another bang cracked through the sky. Bernie laughed through it, and Serena thought she hadn’t even noticed the sound.

She was doubled over, her hair messy and splayed across her face, and one of her arms covered her chest, her breasts spilling out over her limb. She looked utterly gorgeous, her chest glistening in the dim light of the stair well, Serena’s kisses and Bernie’s sweat combined.

“Like what you see?” Bernie asked, and Serena blinked.

“Sorry, what?”

“You’ve got a terrible thing for staring, do you know that?”

“No, I’ve got a terrible thing for you,” Serena growled, reaching forward to tickle Bernie’s sides. She let out a yelp and scrambled up the stairs, Serena following suit.

Bernie had leapt into the bed, her chest heaving as she lay down. Her eyes narrowed at Serena in the doorway, and she lifted herself up against the pillows. She bit her lip and cupped her left breast, and sharply inhaled. Serena cursed under her breath as she shut the door, walking over to the bed and throwing her shirt off. She clambered on top of Bernie and kissed her roughly, and as thunder sounded once more, she opened her eyes and pulled away. “Alright?”

“Very alright,” Bernie whispered, a smile in her eyes as they creased at the corners.

“Good,” Serena grinned, kissing Bernie’s nose. “Very good.”

Serena reaffirmed her attention to Bernie’s chest, cupping them both in her hands and squeezing gently. Bernie threw her head back and sighed softly, and Serena gently rolled her nipple between her thumb and forefinger, feeling her girlfriend tense underneath her. She lifted a hand to cup Bernie’s cheek, and pushed it back for a grip in her hair, tugging gently. She pressed her lips against supple flesh, deftly circling her dusky, pebbled nipple as she grazed over it brusquely with her teeth, before soothing the tender skin with her tongue.

Bernie’s hips bucked, and she reached down frantically to undo the button on her jeans. Serena helped tug them down her pale legs, and threw them across the room. She’d tidy it later, because Bernie most definitely wouldn’t.

Hooking her fingers under her pants, she glanced up at Bernie, and with a firm nod she slowly pulled them down, allowing her fingers to linger as she trailed them down her legs. Bernie kicked her feet to encourage speed, and Serena giggled at her impatience, running her fingers along bare skin slowly. Allowing the garment to fall to the floor, Serena edged forward and took Bernie’s lips against her own, and temptingly edged her hand between Bernie’s legs. She let out a disgruntled huff as Serena teased, pinching the soft flesh of her leg and lazily tickling the downy hairs of her thighs.

As her hand shifted upwards to where Bernie craved it, a delightful sigh left her mouth that shot straight to Serena’s core. She slowly slipped a digit inside of Bernie and she let out a moan of delight, and Serena bit her lip as she heard the soft gasp of rapture. She took a deep breath as she felt sharp nails digging into the soft flesh of her shoulder with zeal and desperation, biting down harder to contain her pleasure. She pushed another finger inside of her and curled them upwards as she felt Bernie’s fervent desire take hold, her legs clenching against her wrist, her back arching as a breathy moan escaped her lips.

Serena pushed Bernie’s leg back and began to pepper wet kisses against her skin. Bernie scraped her nails against Serena’s scalp in anticipation for her lips, pulling at her roughly enough that it made Serena hiss, but not enough for her to want it to stop. She painted trails on Bernie’s inner thighs with her tongue, edging closer and closer to where Bernie needed her, and Bernie’s hips bucked again eagerly.

“God, please, Serena, I need you,” she whimpered, and Serena smiled as she leaned forward to relieve the unbearable pressure between Bernie’s thighs.

She delved her tongue into Bernie’s aching warmth, dipping in and out, and Serena watched as Bernie bit down on her forearm to silence herself. The stifled whimpers and cries that Serena heard urged her on, but not quite enough.

“Stop, Bernie- I want to hear you,” she said, pausing.

“But Jason-”

“He knows what sex is, and I don’t care.” Bernie giggled at that, and Serena held her hand, squeezing it tightly whilst restraining her from using it to muffle herself.

She resumed her work, nipping and sucking at Bernie’s tender flesh, and the euphoric sighs of delight that fell from her mouth left Serena in awe. As Bernie hooked her leg about Serena’s shoulder, she could sense Bernie was coming close to her climax, her hips rising to meet every motion of Serena’s tongue. She nudged Bernie’s clit with her nose, and Bernie’s whole body jerked with the sensation, so Serena lifted herself up and pressed her lips to her, sucking hard.

As Bernie’s whole back arched, Serena watched as she shouted, her voice a string of heavenly sounds that filled her whole being with affection. The cries combined in the air of the room with a loud, striking clap of thunder, and Bernie’s face was so consumed with bliss Serena felt sure she was completely oblivious. She continued to hold Bernie’s hand as she moaned, squeezing tightly and grounding Bernie to where they were as she rode out the waves of her pleasure. She moved to lay beside her, pressing small kisses to her face as she came down, stroking blonde strands away from her face as they clung to her forehead with a sheen of sweat.

“Thank you,” Bernie whispered, panting, eyes closed as she lay down flat on their bed, smiling. She rolled over and kissed Serena, its depth betraying her intentions before her hand on Serena’s bare midriff did.

“No, tonight was for you,” Serena said softly, pulling away. She placed a hand on Bernie’s face and her thumb ran across her pink, warm skin. She pressed a tender kiss to Bernie’s lips, and leant her forehead against hers, gently brushing her button nose against her girlfriend’s.

Bernie smiled so genuinely, her eyes soft and her features calm. “I love you, Serena Campbell.”

“I love you too, sweetheart,” she said, prodding Bernie in the side with a smirk.

“Now… do you love me enough to let me go out for a fag?”

“I hate you.”

Bernie giggled as she quickly scrambled out of bed, sliding her pants on. “It’s warm, I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Bernie, it’s raining, you’ll get hypothermia!” Serena whined as she hopped out of the bedroom. “Just pants, Jesus Christ.”

-

By the time Bernie had actually found her cigarettes and a light, the rain had almost completely subsided. The sky was patchy, some stars fighting their way through the atmosphere, and Bernie felt at ease as she looked up at them. She blew smoke upwards, and watched as it curled away, the burn in her throat grounding and pleasant.

A breeze tickled her naked skin, but soothed her after the itching heat from their bedroom. Sweat cooled on her body as gooseflesh prickled on her arms. She relished cold nights like this after decades of relentlessly muggy Afghanistan evenings. Her time there was important, but it was done now, and moments like these were her future.

“Hurry up, it’s bloody freezing,” Serena muttered from behind her. She looked back, and her girlfriend was wrapped in their giant king duvet. Her hair was still a delectable mess from earlier, poking every which way from Bernie’s hands. She looked absolutely tiny in the gigantic white mess, and Bernie found it impossible to believe that this was the same formidable Serena Campbell she first met at Holby. Laughter spluttered out of her as she saw how grumpy she was, her mouth actually turning down a little at the sides.

“What are you doing with that great thing down here?” she laughed, her guttural bark cutting through the bitter cold Serena felt.

“Well, I got undressed for bed, but then I possibly may have missed you, and I didn’t feel like putting clothes on. I didn’t think you’d mind that.”

“I definitely don’t,” Bernie said, holding a hand out to encourage Serena outside. “I’ll keep you warm, no need to whine.”

Serena rolled her eyes but waddled out, trying her best to not drag their duvet all across the decking, but failing miserably. Bernie dug her hands into the cushioned mess, and wrapped her arms about Serena’s waist, sharing some of her misplaced warmth. She buried her face into the duvet by Serena’s neck, and appreciated the familiar smell of the cream she insisted on applying before sleep. It was light and clean and mingled delightfully with the perfume she wore, and the scent was one of home.

“Do you see that constellation there?” Serena asked, pulling Bernie out of her reverie. She was pointing out at the sky and half the duvet fell, and she concluded it was hopeless now, and they’d have to change the cover anyway. She dropped it, and pulled Bernie closer to her. “That one right there, the cluster, just near Virgo.”

“I never had you down as an astrologer, Serena.”

“Not particularly. I read about it sometimes and might take a look if the night is clear. There is one in particular that I read about that I always look for, though. Especially when I’m on a night shift and you’re at home, tucked up in bed, as I’m drinking coffee on a freezing cold bench with no one to moan to about obnoxious patients.”

“They sound like some very magic stars.”

“No, they aren’t. Just burning balls of gas, actually, not special at all. It’s their name that I like.”

“The stars of the short as possible shift with no backlog and minimal paperwork?”

“Ah, not quite. No, they’re called _Coma Berenices._ They remind of me what I have to come home to.”

Bernie expected that to be a joke and looked down at Serena, but found her staring up at the sky with wide eyes and a serene smile. That made her happy. She looked up too, and was relieved to see the storm had completely passed on. She was here, and Serena’s cold fingers pressed into her ribcage would surely be a reminder of that if she ever needed one.


End file.
